JOKE BUT TRUE:CHURCH ATTENDANCE

By
Attendance in Church on sunday
1. Human beings = 85
2. Bible = 27
3. Phone Charger = 507.
4. Rechargeable lamps = 212.
5. Rechargeable Torch = 176.
6. Power banks 132.          
God is watching .

 Last Seen:

*Whats app*      _*1 min*_ ago🙃
*Facebook*       _*2mins*_ ago☺
*Twitter*            _*5mins*_ ago🙂
*Instagram*      _*10mins*_ ago😉
*Bible*             _*since 2009*_ 🙈
*Beer*               _*online*_😎
God is soaking your cane in crude oil..😀
Go to another group and announce to them🎙
🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

APOLOGY LETTER

By
ONIDURO: FINALLY TOPE ALABI APOLOGISES OVER 'ONIDURO STATEMENT. ▪︎"Let Me Acknowledge That My Mistake Was That I Externalised A Personal Message In Public; And I'm Awfully Sorry For Doing That." Initially, I didn't want to delve into the controversy over the gospel hit song, "Oniduro," because I have intervened behind the scenes in concert with other stakeholders in gospel music ministry. However, I discovered that online media would not allow the dust to settle calmly. I want to state that Tope Alabi, Adeyinka Adesioye a.k.a Alaseyori and Tolu Adelegan are all members of the same family of God and they belong to the same calling – singing ministry. "Adeyinka is my daughter in ministry. Her Pastor asked me to pray for her because she took after me, which I did wholeheartedly.  Envy who? Never!  I love the girl so much.  She can confirm to you, sir, that we relate so well. God has given each of us the grace to go as far as His enablement could carry ...
Read more

BRITAIN FURIOUS WHILE TRUMP REMAINS UNAPOLOGETIC AS FALLOUT SWELLS FROM HIS ANTI-MUSLIM VIDEOS

By
Image
British Prime Minister Theresa May. Prime Minister Theresa May blasted Trump for crossing a line by posting the inflammatory videos on his Twitter page Wednesday — and then warning May to essentially mind her own business and focus on Islamist terrorism instead of him. But officials were careful to note that ties with the United States are stronger than the current flare-up with the White House. "It's increasingly clear that any official visit from President Trump to Britain would not be welcomed," tweeted London's mayor, Sadiq Khan, the first Muslim to hold the office. Khan has repeatedly called for Britain to withdraw an invitation for Trump to visit — and his stance appeared to gain backing amid the outrage against the president. In a sign of the disruptive wake unleashed by Trump, British Home Secretary Amber Rudd had to remind Parliament and the public that Britain's relationship with the United States was bigger than one president — and t...
Read more
By
Image
Northern governors blame immigrants for herdsmen attacks Author:  Kess Ewubare UPDATED:  2 DAYS AGO VIEWS: 48700  TWEET IT!    SHARE ON FACEBOOK    SEND VIA EMAIL    SEND ON WHATSAPP - The northern governor’s forum resolves to work with relevant stakeholders to secure Nigeria’s borders and register Fulani immigrants entering into the country - The chairman of the forum, Governor Kashim Shettima of Borno, emphasises the need for every Nigerian to see security as his or her business - Shettima acknowledges that the country is experiencing lots of challenges, particularly in the northern region The northern governor’s forum (NGF) has alleged that most of the herdsmen responsible for the attacks on communities in Nigeria are immigrants from Senegal and Mali. Northern governors blame immigrants from Senegal and Mali for herdsmen attacks across the country. The chairman of the forum, Kashim Shettima of Borno, di...
Read more

MAN COMMITS SUICIDE BY FIRE,BURNS BEYOND RECOGNITION

By
Image
Shock as Abuja Man Commit Suicide, Set Himself in a Rented Hotel Room (Photos) 17th Feb 2017 The dead man. The residents of Nyanya, a satellite town of Abuja, Federal Capital Territory, FCT Abuja, were left in total shock on Thursday, after a man believed to be in his early 60s, set himself ablaze in a rented hotel apartment. According to DailyPost, the incident also saw the entire hotel completely raid by fire, even as the deceased, Dr. Isaac Ojukwu, was equally burnt beyond recognition. While narrating the ugly incidence to newsmen in Abuja on Friday, Sylvanus M. Itodo, the Owner of the burnt Hotel who is an Associate Professor at the Nasarawa State University, Keffi, said it still remained a shock, how an adult would just wish to take his own life, without a particular known reason. “We were all sitting together that fateful night (Wednesday night) before he left to watch football match and I also left the hotel premises by 11pm, to go and sleep. “It was around 12a...
Read more

NORTH KOREAN IMAGES SUGGEST MISSILE/S MAY BE CAPABLE OF HITTING ANYWHERE IN AMERICA - U.S EXPERTS SAY

By
Image
North Korea said the new missile reached an altitude of about 4,475 km (2,780 miles) - more than 10 times the height of the International Space Station - and flew 950 km (590 miles) during its 53-minute flight. Images released by North Korea on Thursday appeared to show it has succeeded in developing a missile capable of delivering a nuclear weapon anywhere in the United States and it could be only two or three tests away from being declared combat ready, U.S.-based experts said on Thursday. North Korea released dozens of photos and a video after Wednesday's launch of the new Hwasong-15 missile, and leader Kim Jong Un declared the country had "finally realized the great historic cause of completing the state nuclear force". U.S.-based experts, some of whom have been sceptical about past North Korean claims to have put all of the United States in range, said data from the latest test and the photos appeared to confirm North Korea has a missile of suffici...
Read more

A PLEA FOR THE RETURN OF MAN'S STOLEN ASHES

By
Image
Julia Wilkinson (left), of Charlotte, North Carolina, and her mother Mary Wilkinson (right) stand by as police officers (reflected in the window) discuss their investigation into items stolen from their rental car at the Anchorage Square parking lot in San Francisco, California, on Thursday, April 13, 2017. The ashes of Joe Wilkinson, the father and husband to Julia and Mary were among many things that were stolen. Melanie Woodrow (not pictured), a television reporter at abc7 called a police commander which instigated a police investigation. Julia Wilkinson had planned to look for her fathers remains in pawn shops in the Haight but instead met with police officers at the scene of the crime near Fisherman's Wharf. Mary Wilkinson had planned to spend Thursday amid the majestic redwoods of the North Coast, scattering the ashes of her late husband on what would have been his 57th birthday. Instead, the North Carolina resident and her daughter, Julia, were stuck in San Francisco an...
Read more

HEAVILY PREGNANT BEAUTICIAN BEATS HOUSEMAID TO DEATH

By
Image
A beautician, identified only as Oby, has been arrested by the Lagos State Police Command for allegedly beating her maid, Miracle, to death on Lateef Aregbe Street, Ago Palace Way, Okota, in the Isolo area of the state. PUNCH Metro learnt that the mother of two had descended on the eight-year-old on Saturday and beaten her till she collapsed and gave up the ghost. She was allegedly plotting with some persons to dispose of the corpse when some neighbours raised the alarm and reported the case to the police. The suspect was subsequently detained at the Isolo Police Division. A resident of the area, who did not want to be identified, said the suspect had been beating Miracle for months. He explained that anytime Oby, who hailed from Anambra State, was confronted by neighbours, she would shun and insult them. He said, “She is a beautician and has two children and she is heavily pregnant with her third child. Her husband was deported from Libya before he travelled again to An...
Read more

MAN KILLS GIRLFRIEND,SLEEPS WITH HER CORPSE

By
Image
A 35-year-old man identified as Sunday Ushie on Monday confessed to killing his girlfriend, Nnena Samuel, and went ahead to have sex with the corpse.     According to Punch Metro, the incident happened on January 26, 2017 in Adijinkpor village in Ikom Local Government Area of Cross River State. Ushie, a cocoa farmer in Akparabong, confessed to the crime, saying that she never gave him the opportunity to have s*x with her while alive. He said that he invited her to his house and killed her with knife before having s*x with the corpse. The farmer, who said he was regretting his action, blamed the incident on the devil. He said, “It is the work of the devil. I do not know how. I am the one that killed her. I killed her with knife. She was my girlfriend and I knew her for just two months before this incident happened. I slept with her corpse after killing her. “It was strange sleeping with a dead corpse. I never had s*x with her when she was alive because she never ga...
Read more