JOKE BUT TRUE:CHURCH ATTENDANCE

By
Attendance in Church on sunday
1. Human beings = 85
2. Bible = 27
3. Phone Charger = 507.
4. Rechargeable lamps = 212.
5. Rechargeable Torch = 176.
6. Power banks 132.          
God is watching .

 Last Seen:

*Whats app*      _*1 min*_ ago🙃
*Facebook*       _*2mins*_ ago☺
*Twitter*            _*5mins*_ ago🙂
*Instagram*      _*10mins*_ ago😉
*Bible*             _*since 2009*_ 🙈
*Beer*               _*online*_😎
God is soaking your cane in crude oil..😀
Go to another group and announce to them🎙
🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

SHERIFF IS A CONTRACTOR BROUGHT INTO PDP DURING OUR TRYING TIMES

By
Image
SHERIFF IS A CONTRACTOR BROUGHT INTO PDP DURING OUR TRYING TIME 29th Feb 2017, February 27 2017 Emeka Ihedioha, a former deputy speaker of the house of representatives, has described Ali Modu Sheriff as a contractor invited to help the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) during its low point. He said Sheriff’s contract had long expired and that he has nothing to contribute to the opposition party’s development. Ihedioha told the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) in Port Harcourt on Monday that Sheriff by his conduct had failed to show an attitude worthy of uniting and strengthening the party. According to him, the conduct, actions, language and temperament displayed by Sheriff has succeeded in planting disunity amongst members. “His utterances after the Appeal Court judgment in Port Harcourt created division in the party rather than unit members, this showed that he is not interested in the progress of our party,” he said. “Sheriff has nothi...
Read more

20 KILLED IN HERDSMEN ATTACK

By
Image
A herdsman carrying a gun Herdsmen armed with guns killed 20 farmers and injured eight other people in a mosque in Niger state over the weekend, police said on Monday. Fighting over land use between semi-nomadic cattle herders and more settled communities, claims hundreds of lives yearly in the middle belt and in northern Nigeria. Last year, the government said preventing attacks was a security priority. Bala Elkana, a spokesman for Niger state police, said the attack happened at about 05:00 a.m. (0400 GMT) on Saturday at Epogi community, in the Mokwa area of the state. “It was a clash between farmers and herders which had been initially handled but some herders felt unsatisfied and … they launched a reprisal attack on some villagers praying in a mosque,” Elkana said. Three people had been arrested, he said. Nigeria’s poor transport and communications infrastructure can slow the speed at which reports of events in some rural communities are passed on.
Read more

HOW I TOOK TWO CHIBOK GIRLS FOR WIVES-CHRISTIAN WHO TURNED TERRORIST COMMANDER OPENS UP

By
Image
How I Took Two Chibok Girls For Wives - Christian Who Turned Terrorist Commander Opens Up Joseph David, a former commander of Boko Haram fighters has sensationally revealed how he forcibly married two of the over 250 Chibok school girls abducted by the terror sect in April 2014. According to The Nation, Christian – turned Islamist fighter, Joseph David, now says the two Chibok girls were part of the benefits that accrued to his office as a Boko Haram commander. Ironically, David himself was kidnapped by the sect from his native Mubi, Adamawa State, aged 22. He claimed to be a student of the Adamawa State Polytechnic, Yola at the time. Now 25 and in security custody after he was captured by soldiers battling the sect, David said he was placed on a salary of N500, 000 per month or its foreign equivalent. He spoke in an interview in a military detention facility in Borno State. With that kind of hefty salary, he could afford the luxury of three wives. The Chibok girls came ...
Read more

JUSTICE SERVED,MARCEL WILLIAMS TO DIE 24TH APRIL,2017

By
Image
MARCEL WILLIAMS Found guilty of abducting and killing Stacy Rae Errickson as she stopped at a Jacksonville gas station in November 1994 Scheduled for execution on April 24, 2017 Date of original condemnation: Jan. 14, 1997 County in which crime occurred: Pulaski ______  Marcel Williams abducted Stacy Errickson in November 1994 as she stopped at a gas station, later killing her and burying her body near the Arkansas River, prosecutors said. Police said Williams admitted to kidnapping 22-year-old Errickson on Nov. 20, 1994, at a Jacksonville convenience store and forcing her to withdraw money from several ATMs after she left work. He also confessed to raping, beating and choking the mother of two at Riverfront Park in North Little Rock before disposing of her body “where she could not be found.” Trista Wussick (right) puts her arm around Carolyn Moore after both spoke at a clemency hearing for Marcel Williams, who is scheduled to be put to death April 24 for raping a...
Read more

MODU SHERIFF BEGS PDP GOVERNORS TO ACCEPT HIM

By
Image
MODU SHERIFF BEGS PDP GOVERNORS TO ACCEPT HIM Feb 23rd 2017; NEWLY reinstated National Chairman of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) has appealed to state governors elected under the party to sheath their sword and give him the chances to rebuild the party. Speaking while receiving some South West party leaders loyal to Senator Buruji Kashamu at his temporary secretariat in Abuja on Wednesday, he said his only interest was to return the party to its 1999 status.Most PDP governors led by the chairman of its Governors Forum and governor of Ekiti state, Ayo Fayose, have failed to recognise his leadership even after the Court of Appeal decision which went in his favour. In view of this, the party boss appealed to those not satisfied to take their case to the national convention and elect whoever they prefer.He said he would not join issues with governors who had continued to speak against him especially Fayose who he said he would not descent to his level.Sheriff reiterated that th...
Read more

MAN'S LEG NEARLY SEVERED IN MACHETE ATTACK AT A HOUSE IN NORTH MANCHESTER

By
Image
A man’s leg was ‘nearly severed’ during a machete attack in north Manchester. The victim also suffered serious head injuries when he was slashed with the weapon at an address on Kingscliffe Street, Harpurhey , on Thursday afternoon. A silver Jeep is said to have pulled up outside the property just before 1.30pm. Three men got out of the vehicle and forced their way into the terraced house, police said. Eyewitnesses told how a man was then attacked outside with a machete. Paramedics were also called to the address and the victim was taken to hospital for treatment, where he remained in a stable condition on Thursday night, officers said. Greater Manchester Police has launched an investigation and cordoned off the property in Kingscliffe Street for several hours. Forensic officers were seen combing the area for clues. People who witnessed the attack say there was a confrontation outside of the property between two attackers and the victim. An eyewitness, who wishes...
Read more

BREAKING NEWS;ANOTHER CONTAINER LOAD OF PUMP ACTION RIFLES HAVE BEEN FOUND AT THE LAGOS PORT(PHOTO)

By
Image
Months after an initial interception, another container filled with arms has been discovered at the Tin Can Island Port in Lagos, the Nigeria Customs has declared on Tuesday. A source at the port said the container was found at the Ports and Cargo Terminal of the Tin Can Island Ports. “As I speak to you, they’ve ordered everyone to go out of the terminal and they have locked up everywhere,” the source said. The spokesperson of the Nigeria Customs, Tin Can Island Command, Uche Ejesieme, confirmed the incident and said details would be made public later. “We are still counting,” Mr. Ejesieme told Premium Times over the phone. I want to believe this may be related to the forthcoming 2019 elections as we know most of our Nigerian politicians are criminals who winning elections is a do or die affair,God save us from this murderous dogs.
Read more