BECAUSE I MISS YOU

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It's been four very long years since you left me for greater glory,four messy rocky years,I do not need to give you the details here cos you can see all from God's right handside.At times I get so very angry,I hate myself and even feel suicidal cos with everything you taught me been the good teacher you were,it is a shame that you forgot to teach me one of the greatest facts of all,mum you forgot to teach me how to "Live without you" and this is tearing me apart.

I wake up daily amongst my peers to face the struggles of life and yet I hardly complete each day without a breakdown.

My siblings are doing just fine,the boys are doing great,your replica,my little mum Bewaji is doing fine and some I wish she could wear your shoes but she's just a child,Amani is 2,she clocked 2 just yesterday and I made her some promises I must fulfill.

Joy is here and would have really loved to meet you,everyone seems to love her for real but with all their love put together don't amount to a fraction of what you would have given her,she's got boys and additional grand kids that would have been for you and I remember how much you loved kids,or maybe boys I should say cos that was what God blessed you with the most,male kids(6 of 7) and male grand kids,she's got three boys too,and you would have been proud of her.

I do not know why I am all broken up this morning,slept well,woke up fine and hearty and your thought creeped in and then all these.

I forgive you for leaving untimely and still feel responsible sort of but God knows best,I should have been by your side like you requested but I stupidly didn't know how serious you needed me,now all I do is cry my eyes out and nobody ever understands my pain but I am sure you do and I miss you mum.

I know you can see this writeup and would definitely read it,mum this is how I feel,say hi to dad for me,he knows I still love and miss him greatly too,and I am still so very proud of him,just wished I listened more to him too.Love you both and see you in good time,don't cry for me but let your smiles shine down as blessings upon me,oh and on Joy too,she seems all I have right now.

Your's forever,

Onu Ige Abiodun Ayegba

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